In my recent work I have decided to explore myself and how my surroundings formed me into who I am today. This self-reflection included questions such as why am I drawn to this pattern? Where have I seen similar forms, colors, and line use? And with all these questions I began to turn to my past. My youth and raising all involved my family as the major guiding role. When I think back I remember the week was a blur, busy with running from one activity to the next in my mom’s caravan. But then the weekend came, time to play with the family and pup but every Sunday like clockwork we were all dressed and ready for Church. Many have mixed childhood reviews of church, Sunday school and the works but mine were overwhelmingly positive. I love my Church, and looking back as a child the highly decorated walls could only aid attraction to ornate detail that came in the coming years. This in addition to the rich colors used such as gold’s and deep blues or reds gave a sense of royalty that was both slightly overwhelming and attractive all in one. This series I have created delves into my past, present, and future for as I am ever evolving so is my series. For at one point my only real factors in my upbringing were my family and church, but now I am a long way from home with all decisions on my own shoulders.
Four years ago, I accidentally discovered I could draw. Whether it was out of sheer boredom or procrastination, I do not recall, but my friends and I picked up drawing in our spare time. For me, it all started with a red mushroom, an image that in time developed into a variety of seemingly series of psychedelic sharpie drawings. The therapeutic act of creating these detailed line drawings became routine; I would often find myself in a bubble of concentration, music and putting sharpie to paper. During the time of creation my thoughts, non-thoughts, or feelings seem so important, but I can never seem to find what each line represents when I look back at them. Pages covered with feelings, feelings that seem to get lost in the ink as it imprints into the paper. For some time I thought that my drawings were nothing more than a psychedelic parade of black ink on white paper. In the development of taking my drawings and rendering them into the medium of screen printing I have been able to in some ways remove myself. To see my artwork in a new form and therefore seeing in a state of less attachment, has made me realize that my artwork does not express one specific emotion but rather is the subconsciousness. The part of the mind in which I am not fully aware of but it influences my actions and feelings.
Many religious myths, legends and stories (including Osiris, Buddha, Moses and Christ)follow a similar structure: departure, initiation, return. In his book the Hero With a thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell delves into this archetypal hero myth and describes many examples of the structure from different cultures. Through my art I would like to examine the heroic journey as it applies to my own self perception. I am using abstracted images of the female form to create a personal reconciliation with the physical nature of the human experience and express this through three images in the structure of departure, initiation and return. Through the medium of screen printing, I am able to create many copies of images with elegant line work and bold, blocked out color. I wish to emphasize the contour and shapes created by the line of my images by cutting them out and mounting them on solid backgrounds. This method of display will also allow the cast shadows to become part of the image. According to Campbell, "Artists are magical helpers. Evoking symbols and motifs that connect us to our deeper selves, they can help us along the heroic journey of our own lives."
I would like to think I am an artist, but the more art history I study the bolder that statement becomes to me. Though what I believe does entitle me to some boldness is the element of impulse to my work, a lack of control that contradicts but can also compliment classicism. On my first day of the creative writing: poetry class I am taking this semester, Professor Carol Frost told me poetry starts with spontaneous overflow of emotion. The concept has been stuck in my head ever since. Poem, illustration, painting, or stencil: they all start in the same spot. I am an artist because every time I try to bottle emotion, someone shakes up the carbonation, cracks the seal, and it explodes. What I draw is almost always what I cannot verbally say; not because I don’t want to but because I can say things in image that are subtly louder than any word I could speak. This specific series I have been working on over the last few months is a timeline of my emotional state this semester. They are each born out of anxiety and pain I could not ignore. The first image revolves around my lack of success quitting smoking cigarettes. I also consider it to be my most obviously readable print. The skeletal outline of a human hand is intended to reflect what I most fear: that I will not stop until it kills me. The hand is holding a lit cigarette. The ashtray, containing a few used butts, implies that this is not the skeletal hand’s first cigarette. It is instead a creature of habit. At the time that I was printing this piece, I was struggling through an inward battle with my logical self. Logical me said I needed to quit; I needed to panic and quit now. Typically dominant, frivolous me came up with justifications for continuing to smoke in order to help cope with disappointment: that of my own and anyone else’s who had supported my effort. Anxiety clashing with disappointment clashing with my irrepressible (sometimes it’s inappropriate but it comes out anyway) sense of humor is what I believe to have flooded the gates. That is why this is my first example of spontaneous overflow in this series.
The image I printed following the skeletal hand does not read as plainly. It can be tied in more closely with work I have done in the past. For example, the subject is female. She has big, bold lips that a black gap and white front teeth barely separate (as if she is exhaling or else pursed holding a breathe). Her hair falls in a way to frame the section of her face being depicted and the shoulders, which in turn frame the body. The way this image fits into my series is in the way it was drawn. Similarly to how I drew the skeletal hand, I use exaggerated lines that were originally layers of pen ink turned stencils with photoshop. It is this graphic style that I believe lends well to screen-printing. The tattoo over the girl’s breast is a continuation of a thought from the first print. It reads (though backwards, assume she is facing a mirror) “DamnAge”. It is intended to mean two things. The first is that she is damned by her youthful naivety. The longer she lives, the younger she feels. The more experience she gains, the less she is sure of. The second meaning revolves around the similarity in sound between “damn age” and “damage”. The tattoo is intentionally placed over her wounded heart. From her luscious lips down to her skin-baring, tiny tank top, the image is meant to radiate lust, desire, and sexuality. But the clash and (borderline) humor is in the true pain and damage she masks behind “pride” and a confident exterior. She owns herself, but simultaneously the people who have permeated the inked wall shield over her heart share in that ownership. This is the second installation of spontaneous overflow in my series. My third and final illustration is the darkest, therefore the most serious image. There is an intentional progression of darkened meaning from the first image until the third. The skeletal hand, though sickly humored, is essentially fun to look at. It was intended to be. The second image, while possibly still fun, is meant to evoke a more intense and individualized illusion to self-torment. However, there is still lightheartedness to fall back on in that second image, given the vibrant color choice and impermeable exterior the subject fronts. The skeletal hand alludes to darkness. The damaged girl draws you closer to it. And the final image envelops you in it. A young boy hangs by his right hand from a ledge of unknown height, an anchor pulling him down faster as a balloon sails away, soon to float off of the page. I do not personally think it’s funny. The anchor plays duel roles, a literal representation of the weight of life and as a symbol for the college he goes to. It is not meant to be read as “Rollins brings him down”. Rollins does not bring him down; he does but at Rollins. He is a student so that is where he lives his life. The anchor is symbolic of the life he is living, the balloon of his potential, and the gap between them (implied that it is expanding) of sinking farther beneath that potential. The hand gripping the ledge holds symbolism as well: the hand is hope and the ledge is success. So long as he still has one hand to hang from, no matter how heavy the weight bearing down on him may be, he impedes the ultimate fall. For reasons that do not beg further explanation, this is my final example of spontaneous overflow of emotion.
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In my recent work I have decided to explore myself and how my surroundings formed me into who I am today. This self-reflection included questions such as why am I drawn to this pattern? Where have I seen similar forms, colors, and line use? And with all these questions I began to turn to my past. My youth and raising all involved my family as the major guiding role. When I think back I remember the week was a blur, busy with running from one activity to the next in my mom’s caravan. But then the weekend came, time to play with the family and pup but every Sunday like clockwork we were all dressed and ready for Church. Many have mixed childhood reviews of church, Sunday school and the works but mine were overwhelmingly positive. I love my Church, and looking back as a child the highly decorated walls could only aid attraction to ornate detail that came in the coming years. This in addition to the rich colors used such as gold’s and deep blues or reds gave a sense of royalty that was both slightly overwhelming and attractive all in one. This series I have created delves into my past, present, and future for as I am ever evolving so is my series. For at one point my only real factors in my upbringing were my family and church, but now I am a long way from home with all decisions on my own shoulders.
Four years ago, I accidentally discovered I could draw. Whether it was out of sheer boredom or procrastination, I do not recall, but my friends and I picked up drawing in our spare time. For me, it all started with a red mushroom, an image that in time developed into a variety of seemingly series of psychedelic sharpie drawings. The therapeutic act of creating these detailed line drawings became routine; I would often find myself in a bubble of concentration, music and putting sharpie to paper. During the time of creation my thoughts, non-thoughts, or feelings seem so important, but I can never seem to find what each line represents when I look back at them. Pages covered with feelings, feelings that seem to get lost in the ink as it imprints into the paper. For some time I thought that my drawings were nothing more than a psychedelic parade of black ink on white paper.
In the development of taking my drawings and rendering them into the medium of screen printing I have been able to in some ways remove myself. To see my artwork in a new form and therefore seeing in a state of less attachment, has made me realize that my artwork does not express one specific emotion but rather is the subconsciousness. The part of the mind in which I am not fully aware of but it influences my actions and feelings.
Many religious myths, legends and stories (including Osiris, Buddha, Moses and Christ)follow a similar structure: departure, initiation, return. In his book the Hero With a thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell delves into this archetypal hero myth and describes many examples of the structure from different cultures.
Through my art I would like to examine the heroic journey as it applies to my own self perception. I am using abstracted images of the female form to create a personal reconciliation with the physical nature of the human experience and express this through three images in the structure of departure, initiation and return.
Through the medium of screen printing, I am able to create many copies of images with elegant line work and bold, blocked out color. I wish to emphasize the contour and shapes created by the line of my images by cutting them out and mounting them on solid backgrounds. This method of display will also allow the cast shadows to become part of the image.
According to Campbell, "Artists are magical helpers. Evoking symbols and motifs that connect us to our deeper selves, they can help us along the heroic journey of our own lives."
I would like to think I am an artist, but the more art history I study the bolder that statement becomes to me. Though what I believe does entitle me to some boldness is the element of impulse to my work, a lack of control that contradicts but can also compliment classicism. On my first day of the creative writing: poetry class I am taking this semester, Professor Carol Frost told me poetry starts with spontaneous overflow of emotion. The concept has been stuck in my head ever since. Poem, illustration, painting, or stencil: they all start in the same spot. I am an artist because every time I try to bottle emotion, someone shakes up the carbonation, cracks the seal, and it explodes. What I draw is almost always what I cannot verbally say; not because I don’t want to but because I can say things in image that are subtly louder than any word I could speak.
This specific series I have been working on over the last few months is a timeline of my emotional state this semester. They are each born out of anxiety and pain I could not ignore. The first image revolves around my lack of success quitting smoking cigarettes. I also consider it to be my most obviously readable print. The skeletal outline of a human hand is intended to reflect what I most fear: that I will not stop until it kills me. The hand is holding a lit cigarette. The ashtray, containing a few used butts, implies that this is not the skeletal hand’s first cigarette. It is instead a creature of habit. At the time that I was printing this piece, I was struggling through an inward battle with my logical self. Logical me said I needed to quit; I needed to panic and quit now. Typically dominant, frivolous me came up with justifications for continuing to smoke in order to help cope with disappointment: that of my own and anyone else’s who had supported my effort. Anxiety clashing with disappointment clashing with my irrepressible (sometimes it’s inappropriate but it comes out anyway) sense of humor is what I believe to have flooded the gates. That is why this is my first example of spontaneous overflow in this series.
The image I printed following the skeletal hand does not read as plainly. It can be tied in more closely with work I have done in the past. For example, the subject is female. She has big, bold lips that a black gap and white front teeth barely separate (as if she is exhaling or else pursed holding a breathe). Her hair falls in a way to frame the section of her face being depicted and the shoulders, which in turn frame the body. The way this image fits into my series is in the way it was drawn. Similarly to how I drew the skeletal hand, I use exaggerated lines that were originally layers of pen ink turned stencils with photoshop. It is this graphic style that I believe lends well to screen-printing. The tattoo over the girl’s breast is a continuation of a thought from the first print. It reads (though backwards, assume she is facing a mirror) “DamnAge”. It is intended to mean two things. The first is that she is damned by her youthful naivety. The longer she lives, the younger she feels. The more experience she gains, the less she is sure of. The second meaning revolves around the similarity in sound between “damn age” and “damage”. The tattoo is intentionally placed over her wounded heart. From her luscious lips down to her skin-baring, tiny tank top, the image is meant to radiate lust, desire, and sexuality. But the clash and (borderline) humor is in the true pain and damage she masks behind “pride” and a confident exterior. She owns herself, but simultaneously the people who have permeated the inked wall shield over her heart share in that ownership. This is the second installation of spontaneous overflow in my series.
My third and final illustration is the darkest, therefore the most serious image. There is an intentional progression of darkened meaning from the first image until the third. The skeletal hand, though sickly humored, is essentially fun to look at. It was intended to be. The second image, while possibly still fun, is meant to evoke a more intense and individualized illusion to self-torment. However, there is still lightheartedness to fall back on in that second image, given the vibrant color choice and impermeable exterior the subject fronts. The skeletal hand alludes to darkness. The damaged girl draws you closer to it. And the final image envelops you in it. A young boy hangs by his right hand from a ledge of unknown height, an anchor pulling him down faster as a balloon sails away, soon to float off of the page. I do not personally think it’s funny. The anchor plays duel roles, a literal representation of the weight of life and as a symbol for the college he goes to. It is not meant to be read as “Rollins brings him down”. Rollins does not bring him down; he does but at Rollins. He is a student so that is where he lives his life. The anchor is symbolic of the life he is living, the balloon of his potential, and the gap between them (implied that it is expanding) of sinking farther beneath that potential. The hand gripping the ledge holds symbolism as well: the hand is hope and the ledge is success. So long as he still has one hand to hang from, no matter how heavy the weight bearing down on him may be, he impedes the ultimate fall. For reasons that do not beg further explanation, this is my final example of spontaneous overflow of emotion.
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